Recently it seems like there are many things trying to bring me down.
Post pregnancy hormones, wind chills of negative 25 (what the hell?!?!), trying to read John Irvings In One Person (worst book club choice EVER) and the scale.
Kai was born 4 weeks ago and I am SO annoyed at things I can't do yet.
So there sits about half of my pregnancy weight.
I work out, I eat
right ok, and the problem isn't really the extra weight- it's seeing that number on the scale. I admit it, I am a scale addict. I have an unhealthy compulsion. When I am at my normal weight, it doesn't affect me.
Let me define what I mean by "compulsion"- every single time I go in the bathroom, I step on the scale.
Why? I don't know. Obviously I realize that I will likely be the exact same weight as I was the last time I weighed myself. I've been doing this for about 10 years (since I first moved out on my own). I like to think of it as a habit, my husband says that it is something only a crazy person would do (thanks babe!).
I don't feel like I have ever had an unhealthy relationship with the scale, even after I put on 70 pounds (70! AHHHH!) when I was pregnant with Laithe. Prior to being pregnant with Kai, I felt like I was in great shape. I was working out 6 days a week including half marathon training. I was really really happy with my body.
Now every time I step on the scale I long for that feeling and it upsets me.
Enter unhealthy relationship.
This morning I weighed myself when I got up, then again before my workout, then after my workout, then I asked my husband to please hide the scale (and the back up scale in the closet).
I need to focus on being healthy and healthy is not a number.
It's actually physically uncomfortable to go without it. I'm so used to it that I really feel something missing when I go into the bathroom.
I asked him to bring it out one day a week.
Hopefully I don't gain 10 pounds.