Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Off the scale.

Recently it seems like there are many things trying to bring me down.
Post pregnancy hormones, wind chills of negative 25 (what the hell?!?!), trying to read John Irvings In One Person (worst book club choice EVER) and the scale.
Kai was born 4 weeks ago and I am SO annoyed at things I can't do yet.
So there sits about half of my pregnancy weight.  
Blah.

I work out, I eat right ok, and the problem isn't really the extra weight- it's seeing that number on the scale.  I admit it, I am a scale addict.  I have an unhealthy compulsion.  When I am at my normal weight, it doesn't affect me.
Let me define what I mean by "compulsion"- every single time I go in the bathroom, I step on the scale.
Why?  I don't know.  Obviously I realize that I will likely be the exact same weight as I was the last time I weighed myself.  I've been doing this for about 10 years (since I first moved out on my own).  I like to think of it as a habit, my husband says that it is something only a crazy person would do (thanks babe!). 

I don't feel like I have ever had an unhealthy relationship with the scale, even after I put on 70 pounds (70! AHHHH!)  when I was pregnant with Laithe.  Prior to being pregnant with Kai, I felt like I was in great shape.  I was working out 6 days a week including half marathon training.  I was really really happy with my body.  
Now every time I step on the scale I long for that feeling and it upsets me.
Enter unhealthy relationship.

This morning I weighed myself when I got up, then again before my workout, then after my workout, then I asked my husband to please hide the scale (and the back up scale in the closet).
I need to focus on being healthy and healthy is not a number.

It's actually physically uncomfortable to go without it.  I'm so used to it that I really feel something missing when I go into the bathroom.
I asked him to bring it out one day a week.

Hopefully I don't gain 10 pounds.

3 comments:

  1. Andy would call me crazy too because I get on the scale each time I'm in the bathroom too. I could be in there to go get a band-aid and I get on the scale. Up until a couple days ago I hated that thing but I would always check. And like an idiot, I would get mad at it for telling me I gained so-and-so pounds.

    The first OBGYN I saw when I was pregnant with Elora told me to gain no more than 15lbs because (at 125lbs) he said I was overweight. (huh?) I ended up gaining over 45lbs with Elora and I am just now, after 14 months postpartum, am 5lbs away from my pre-baby weight.

    Morale of the story, I feel your pain. But you were in a LOT better shape than I was before baby and you will be back to the weight you want sooner than you think. Having a c-section makes it harder to get back there but I know you are a hard worker and will get there. Either way, you are gorgeous!

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    Replies
    1. Aww, thanks Sarah! Overweight at 125 lbs? That's insane. I gained 38 this time and I was REALLY REALLY proud of myself, lol. I guess it helps that we live in Iowa now, with Laithe I ate Mexican food twice a day- ha ha!

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  2. Sounds like me..... except I finally STOPPED doing it about a 1 1/2 ago. Now I kind of know what I'm going to weigh before I even get on it. You will be back to your skinny minnie self in no time....
    just don't buy anymore birthday cake oreo's!!!

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