Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Mom of the Year

First of all, this is my 100th post!  How exciting!  (for me, not you, I'm sure you don't care)

I've officially been on my own for 3 days....Friday was a HUGE success & I got so much done.
Yesterday we were up bright and early.  We had a birthday party to go to and it was to be my first outing with both kids.  It took 2 hours to get everyone ready but we successfully made it out the door on time.
We even made it to our destination early (this is a big deal for me).
Kai slept in his carseat the whole time and Laithe was well behaved.
I was super proud of myself.

The thought "this is so easy!" actually went through my head.
I am such an ass hat.
I load the kids up in the car after the party and I decide we're going to go to Hobby Lobby since I am such an amazing parent.
We're on our way and I am glowing with self satisfaction when Laithe says,
"Look at my cool trick!"
as I look up in the rearview mirror
I am met with a view of him JUMPING into the middle seat.
"You didn't even buckle me in, mom!"

F word.

Friday, February 22, 2013

One Month

It's hard to believe that Kai is already one month old!

After spending a few weeks under 7lbs, he's finally putting on some weight!

Clothing size: Newborn

Sleeping: Wakes up at 1:30 & 5:30

Car rides
Having his picture taken
His swing

Barking dogs
Diaper changes
Clothing changes

Big brother

Today is our very first day without Andy being home.
Wish us luck!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Off the scale.

Recently it seems like there are many things trying to bring me down.
Post pregnancy hormones, wind chills of negative 25 (what the hell?!?!), trying to read John Irvings In One Person (worst book club choice EVER) and the scale.
Kai was born 4 weeks ago and I am SO annoyed at things I can't do yet.
So there sits about half of my pregnancy weight.  

I work out, I eat right ok, and the problem isn't really the extra weight- it's seeing that number on the scale.  I admit it, I am a scale addict.  I have an unhealthy compulsion.  When I am at my normal weight, it doesn't affect me.
Let me define what I mean by "compulsion"- every single time I go in the bathroom, I step on the scale.
Why?  I don't know.  Obviously I realize that I will likely be the exact same weight as I was the last time I weighed myself.  I've been doing this for about 10 years (since I first moved out on my own).  I like to think of it as a habit, my husband says that it is something only a crazy person would do (thanks babe!). 

I don't feel like I have ever had an unhealthy relationship with the scale, even after I put on 70 pounds (70! AHHHH!)  when I was pregnant with Laithe.  Prior to being pregnant with Kai, I felt like I was in great shape.  I was working out 6 days a week including half marathon training.  I was really really happy with my body.  
Now every time I step on the scale I long for that feeling and it upsets me.
Enter unhealthy relationship.

This morning I weighed myself when I got up, then again before my workout, then after my workout, then I asked my husband to please hide the scale (and the back up scale in the closet).
I need to focus on being healthy and healthy is not a number.

It's actually physically uncomfortable to go without it.  I'm so used to it that I really feel something missing when I go into the bathroom.
I asked him to bring it out one day a week.

Hopefully I don't gain 10 pounds.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Why will you run?

I completed my registration yesterday for the 2nd annual Chicago Women's half marathon.
I ran it last year but definitely did not come close to my goal time!
I was 8 weeks pregnant and still rocking morning sickness.
The course got red flagged that morning due to excessive heat,
the heat index was over 100 by 8am.
Although I didn't meet my goal, I was still really proud!

One question that they ask is "Why will you run?"
I run because I have 2 boys to set an example for.
I want to be a strong female role model.
I want them to come to me and ask how to run faster or lift heavier.
I want to show them that women are just as strong as men,
some even stronger.
I want my boys to grow up in a healthy household where being active is the standard.

And I like getting medals.

Come run with me.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Breastfeeding Does Not Define Me As A Mother.

Or does it?
I'm really struggling here.
Kai was 6lbs 9oz when he was born.
He was 6lbs when we left the hospital.
He was 6lbs at his weight check 2 days after we left the hospital.
He was 6lb 2oz at his 2 week appointment.
We had to start supplementing with formula.

Plain & simple, my body is failing him.
And it sucks.
I feel really bad about it and I'm really hurting because of it.

I tried to breastfeed with Laithe.
Same thing.
Not gaining weight.  

I've done everything right. 
 I've talked to 3 different lactation consultants.
I've eaten enough oatmeal to feed a third world country.
I've taken enough fenugreek to smell like a maple syrup factory.
I've drank Mother's Milk Tea and a thousand ounces of water.
Did it make a difference? No.
Should you care? No.

Why do so many people feel the need to express their opinion?  Hey judgy lady-You are NOT an expert (unless you are, then I'll take your advice).
It doesn't make me less of a mother because I can't feed my kid breastmilk, so why do people get off trying to make women feel bad for feeding their kid formula?

I don't care if they feed their kid organic milk from a hippopotamus, why would they care what I feed mine?  
It is extremely heartbreaking to not be able to physically provide food for your child...but guess what?
I have another alternative.
Open a can of formula.
Because I'm not an asshat who thinks her kid is too good for it.
I'm a lady who just wants to feed her kid.

So seriously, stop judging people.
Laithe is a perfectly healthy 3 year old.
He's so smart and hilarious.
Not because of what I fed him,
but because I am awesome and my husband is awesome 
and we are awesome parents.

As a parent, do what is best for your child, your family, your sanity.
Don't let people pressure you into doing something you don't feel comfortable with.
Whoever you are, provide for your family the best you can and love them endlessly and you will be great and they will be great.  
And if they aren't?
I guess you can always blame the fact that you didn't breastfeed.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Being a mom the second time around...

It's so much easier than I ever could have imagined.
While I was still pregnant I kept thinking back to the days after Laithe was born.
Sleepless nights, snapping at Andy, and just a general "I don't know what the hell I'm doing" feeling.

This time?
None of that.  (Well, maybe I remember snapping at Andy once...oops).
I have rocked at least 6 hours of sleep every night since Kai has been home.
He's waking up every 3-3 1/2 hours and it's fabulous.
I know it won't last forever and we're going to have our rough nights, but for right now, I'll take it!

I don't know if it's because we're more relaxed in general, because we're older, or because we've been through it before but this is way better than I ever could have imagined.

We struggled with Laithe for a few days after he met Kai.  I get it, it sucks when your entire 3 year old world gets rocked.  He's doing much better now and has even come to enjoy having a baby brother.
I'm really proud of how helpful he has been and how patient he is becoming.
Although it seems his new catch phrase is "I don't love waiting!"
No one does kid.

Now that we're all settled in, I really need to focus on resuming a routine.  Andy is off work for 2 more weeks and I am so grateful.  

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Friday, February 1, 2013

February Resolutions

Wow! It's already February!
That means it's time to update my monthly resolutions, following along with the Happiness Project and Happier At Home.
This month's theme is "Working on my Marriage."

  •  Quit Nagging
  • Don’t expect praise
  • Take time to be silly
  • Fight right, no snapping
  •  Don’t make Andy my dumping ground
  • Give proofs of love
  • Think of small treats or courtesies
  •  Leave things unsaid
  • Kiss in the morning, Kiss at night
  • Give gold stars
  • Make the positive argument
So...that should be easily accomplished...while Andy is home from work for another 3 weeks and we're adjusting to having a baby in the house.  What could possibly make two people get along more?

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